

Shared experiences like these are so good at helping people connect that some therapists even use tabletop games like Dungeons and Dragons as group therapy. This serves the same purpose as playing Monopoly together did for their parents. Many teens go to each other's houses to play video games in the same room. I spent a few hours playing card games with my family last week and, even though most of the conversation was centered on the games themselves, it was undeniably a bonding experience.

Lots of families have weekly “game nights” in which they play board games to spend time with one another. Although the method of communication is different (i.e., communicated in-game rather than via text, phone, or in-person), the messages sent and connections built are the same.Įven if players were to only spend time talking about the game itself, games would still be a great way to bond with other people. That means that, contrary to parents’ fears, the vast majority of the messages people sent while playing this game were used to interact with others in a positive way.įor young people, it can be annoying to hear their parents encourage them to talk with others, when, from their perspective, they already are. Additionally, these emotion-based messages were over 2.6 times more likely to be positive than negative.


They found that there were more than 3.2 times as many socio-emotional messages as task-oriented ones. Socio-emotional messages are ones which helped players connect with one another, such as “Thanks for the help,” “Yeah, I agree with you,” and “Wow, that was funny.” Task-oriented messages are focused on the game itself, such as “How do you open this door?” or “Just practice some more.” They looked at over 5,800 messages sent while playing an online multiplayer game and examined whether these messages were socio-emotional or task-oriented. Two researchers studied this exactly in 2006. I often hear parents say that video games don’t count as healthy communication their kids aren’t talking about anything real when they play, they’re just talking about the game or yelling at one another. 77% of boys play online video games with friends at least once a month. Although the players are physically isolated, they’re spending time with friends in the same way that people do when they talk to one another on the phone. The games they grew up with didn’t have controllers, keyboards, screens, or a headset. To well-meaning parents, video games often look like a waste of time a waste of a childhood. They fondly recall long conversations on the phone, learning to work together by competing in sports, or playing Monopoly together at a sleepover. That’s how to make friends, parents assert. I imagine most parents of gamers have hollered to their children to stop playing games and go be with people. Their children seem totally isolated, sitting all alone , staring blankly at a screen for hours at a time.Ĭhildren need to talk to each other, to have conversations, to get out into the world. (This blog, part of a series, originally appeared in Psychology Today. Andrew also facilitates Level Up: A Group for Gamers, a support group for teen gamers who want to meet with other teen gamers and discuss the impact of gaming on their lives.) By Andrew Fishman, MSW, LSW, Clinician, Response Center for Teens
